To get a little personal, I am no stranger to illusion. I lived there for most of my life, and I am not being trite when I say that Yahweh is all that there is, nor am I sheltered and unaware of the "harsh realities of life."
Before I knew that Yahweh is all that there is, I was a miserable person. Diagnosed at age 10-11 with Clinical Depression, I was on antidepressants for ten years. I did not think I was worthy of living, and so I decided to hide myself behind layers of fat, so sure that if anyone could actually see me, they would want to hurt me because that was all that I deserved. I topped the scale at 387 pounds before I started losing weight. I feared making the slightest mistake, lest others vilify me and I earn the wrath of Yahweh that religion told me was one of His chief characteristics.
The process of undoing all of that was almost as painful as being in it. It took nearly four years of slowing coming into the idea that healing from Clinical Depression was even possible. I was told from the time I was a child that it was an incurable disease, so it took me years to believe that Yahweh could heal in modern times as well as Biblical times, that He wanted to heal me, and that He actually had already completed that healing on the cross.
Once I was healed of Clinical Depression on February 15, 2010, I stopped taking my antidepressants, cancelled the appointment with the psychiatrist, and felt so completely and utterly free... for about two weeks. Then, circumstances came up and I began to deal with some of those other issues I mentioned above, such as self-loathing and the fear that everyone secretly hated me. A few months later, Holy Spirit told me through doctor's tests to lose weight, and I started exercising and eating better.
All of this took time and faith, and it has born so much fruit that these things have never happened to me now. Redemption is so complete that I don't even see these things as possible in my life. I lost 200 pounds, have many friends I trust, and know without any doubt that I am both lovely and loved.
Still, the process was more painful than it had to be, and that's because of the path that I took. I will say that the process worked, and it will, but there is now a new and living Way to bring about the Reality of Christ in your life. It doesn't have to be through a long, drawn-out, and painful process.
The painful process goes something like this:
You live in an illusion. You've made a nest there, and though it is a stinking, putrid rat-hole, you're pretty sure anything else would be way worse, so you stay there until it becomes so intolerable, you have to seek a way out. (Some people seek many ways out of this before they realize that Yahweh is the only way out of illusion. Let's assume you're at the point where you turn to Him.)
Now that illusion is unbearable, you have decided to move, but you're not really sure how. You've lived her all of your remembered life, but you've decided to believe there is something better out there. In my case, it was mental health, physical health, and self-worth.
You've got some basic awareness of Yahweh's goodness and that He wants to heal you, backed up by the many scriptures that show Yahshua's healing of people while He was on the Earth as well as the characteristics of Yahweh that it is not His will that any should perish. Perhaps you've heard that verse that says, "by His stripes we are healed." Or if what you're believing for is not healing, you're trusting that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills as your Provider or you're believing that He wants all to be saved as He saved Paul on the road to Damascus. You decide to cling to this Promise no matter what you see, feel, or otherwise experience.
You do many things to cling to this Promise, including declarations of faith, asking for intercession, alter calls, prayer, and coming into agreement with other believers. These are all things that I did in my process. You are also obedient to the proceeding Word of Yahweh. When He told me to exercise, I exercised! I didn't even miss one day of exercise in my first year or so of exercising because I knew if I stopped for even one day, I would stop.
You seem to make progress, but then something happens to cause pain. This can either be circumstances, doubt in your mind, guilt, or other trappings of illusion. For me, guilt was a big problem. I would feel bad for feeling bad! If I felt social anxiety, it was my fault! Yahweh did not create this (I have His Promise, remember), and there was nothing else with power over my life than Him and me, so it must be me that caused this. This would become a cycle of shame, which would tie me up for months until I did enough declaring and agreeing to make it stop. Let's not even start on what happened if I overate somewhere...
Eventually, after many cycles of shame, you receive the manifestation of your Promise because you've held onto it so tightly that nothing else can stand against it and the fruit that remains is born in your life! Huzzah!
Then, you get a vision for another Promise of Yahweh to move you into His Reality and the process starts all over again.
I am NOT saying that this way doesn't work. As I said, I have seen and am living in the fruit of this process myself. It is beautiful, and if you ask anyone who has gone through this process, they will say that it is totally, completely, one hundred percent worth it. The sufferings of the process are not worthy to be compared to the glory that comes after it.
It is a powerful thing to hold on in faith to a Promise when everything around you tells you that your Promise is impossible, that you can never have it, and that nobody else has ever done it. It builds character, strength, and perseverance. It has helped make me who I am today.
And yet, there is another, new and living, Way.
This other Way involves a deeper level of faith and trust in Yahweh. It also involves less pain, and the sower overtaking the reaper. It is quicker than the aforementioned process because it doesn't involve so much your strength or character and because it taps into the natural order of Yahweh's Divine Pattern.
This other way is for the mature believer. If you do not have the relationship with Yahweh that is ready for this other Way, by all means stick to the old process until you get there. The old process will bring you there, and it will bear you fruit! However, if you are ready...
In this new and living Way, you do not cling to the Promise of Yahweh's Reality while all around you illusion and circumstances and self-doubt berate you and try to get you to let it go. In this new and living Way, you actually let go of His Promise and give it back to Him.
Careful, though! You cannot let go of the Promise and not let go of the illusion, circumstance, and self-doubt. If you do this, you just lack faith and you go back to living in the illusion.
Essentially, you must let go of everything and trust Him to give you back what He wants you to have. The beauty of this is that your relationship with Him will grow exponentially because you have learned to trust Him in this. You let go in hope, in faith, in trust, in Him... if you just let go, this won't work. It must be in Him that you release all, and to Him that you entrust all that you've ever thought you were.
For example, in recent months I've been dealing with guilt over feeling sick in my physical body any time I catch a cold. Since I know that there is no such thing as sickness (it is not Yahweh, therefore it doesn't exist), then if I am experiencing it it must be my fault. There is nobody else who has power over my body. Yahweh didn't create it, so sickness isn't even Real... it must be an illusion that I created in myself and now am having to deal with. I am supposed to be healthy and whole because that is Reality and that is how Yahweh made me!
It wasn't until I stopped caring if I was sick or well that I was able to release the guilt. I know that one day I will never get sick again. This is Yahweh's Promise to me, but if I focus on this Promise and feel guilty for not having it right now, I miss Yahweh's love for me in the moment. I also know that never being sick again will not manifest in my body until feeling guilty every time I feel sick stops manifesting, for Yahweh is not going to let me be a guilty person and feel guilt for things, but remove other illusions. He doesn't want me to feel sick or guilty, and His timing will ensure that both are shown for what they are: not Reality.
So, essentially, I'm trusting Him. I cannot make myself eternally healthy, either by believing so hard for it in faith or by following strict dietary and exercise guidelines. I can only trust Him to manifest what has always been all along. If that happens in this moment, great. If not, I must trust Him in that, too, and find Him where I am at.
In this new and living Way, I do nothing to make it happen. Yet, it is only for the mature believer, for neither do we give up our obedience to Him. I do not go, "I can't make myself healthy" and then go out and eat a whole large pizza with ice cream every day, cancel my gym membership, and start drinking sodas again. Because of my relationship with Yahweh, I make choices in how I treat my body because I love my body and I love Yahweh. I don't need Heaven as the carrot and Hell as the stick (or in this case, Reality and the Promise as the carrot and illusion and illness as the stick) to make me make good choices. I choose things based on if it makes Yahweh happy or not. I'm still learning how to do it, too. I just ate half a thing of cheese with lunch... but I don't feel guilty about it!
In this new Way, I also have agreement with other believers, but it is not in striving and praying and hoping together as it once was. It's a resonant frequency of Yahweh's Truth that will change the very molecules of my physical body, amplified by others who will also resonate with the Promise. I pray, but not to beg. Instead, I talk to Yahweh and He talks to me... a lot! Everything now is based on trust, and though some of the things in this new Way are similar to the old process, everything is different because it is based on Him, not on my faith or even on His Promise.
Talk with Yahweh about this new Way and if you're ready for it. Be realistic about where you are in Him, and don't feel guilty if you're not there yet. If you've even started the process of holding on in faith to Promises when all around you the illusion screams, you're further along than most and you're getting there. When you are ready, take the new and living Way! Yahweh never meant for healing to be painful any more than He meant for sickness or pain to exist at all.
He is infinitely trustworthy and beautiful. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Before I knew that Yahweh is all that there is, I was a miserable person. Diagnosed at age 10-11 with Clinical Depression, I was on antidepressants for ten years. I did not think I was worthy of living, and so I decided to hide myself behind layers of fat, so sure that if anyone could actually see me, they would want to hurt me because that was all that I deserved. I topped the scale at 387 pounds before I started losing weight. I feared making the slightest mistake, lest others vilify me and I earn the wrath of Yahweh that religion told me was one of His chief characteristics.
The process of undoing all of that was almost as painful as being in it. It took nearly four years of slowing coming into the idea that healing from Clinical Depression was even possible. I was told from the time I was a child that it was an incurable disease, so it took me years to believe that Yahweh could heal in modern times as well as Biblical times, that He wanted to heal me, and that He actually had already completed that healing on the cross.
Once I was healed of Clinical Depression on February 15, 2010, I stopped taking my antidepressants, cancelled the appointment with the psychiatrist, and felt so completely and utterly free... for about two weeks. Then, circumstances came up and I began to deal with some of those other issues I mentioned above, such as self-loathing and the fear that everyone secretly hated me. A few months later, Holy Spirit told me through doctor's tests to lose weight, and I started exercising and eating better.
All of this took time and faith, and it has born so much fruit that these things have never happened to me now. Redemption is so complete that I don't even see these things as possible in my life. I lost 200 pounds, have many friends I trust, and know without any doubt that I am both lovely and loved.
Still, the process was more painful than it had to be, and that's because of the path that I took. I will say that the process worked, and it will, but there is now a new and living Way to bring about the Reality of Christ in your life. It doesn't have to be through a long, drawn-out, and painful process.
The painful process goes something like this:
You live in an illusion. You've made a nest there, and though it is a stinking, putrid rat-hole, you're pretty sure anything else would be way worse, so you stay there until it becomes so intolerable, you have to seek a way out. (Some people seek many ways out of this before they realize that Yahweh is the only way out of illusion. Let's assume you're at the point where you turn to Him.)
Now that illusion is unbearable, you have decided to move, but you're not really sure how. You've lived her all of your remembered life, but you've decided to believe there is something better out there. In my case, it was mental health, physical health, and self-worth.
You've got some basic awareness of Yahweh's goodness and that He wants to heal you, backed up by the many scriptures that show Yahshua's healing of people while He was on the Earth as well as the characteristics of Yahweh that it is not His will that any should perish. Perhaps you've heard that verse that says, "by His stripes we are healed." Or if what you're believing for is not healing, you're trusting that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills as your Provider or you're believing that He wants all to be saved as He saved Paul on the road to Damascus. You decide to cling to this Promise no matter what you see, feel, or otherwise experience.
You do many things to cling to this Promise, including declarations of faith, asking for intercession, alter calls, prayer, and coming into agreement with other believers. These are all things that I did in my process. You are also obedient to the proceeding Word of Yahweh. When He told me to exercise, I exercised! I didn't even miss one day of exercise in my first year or so of exercising because I knew if I stopped for even one day, I would stop.
You seem to make progress, but then something happens to cause pain. This can either be circumstances, doubt in your mind, guilt, or other trappings of illusion. For me, guilt was a big problem. I would feel bad for feeling bad! If I felt social anxiety, it was my fault! Yahweh did not create this (I have His Promise, remember), and there was nothing else with power over my life than Him and me, so it must be me that caused this. This would become a cycle of shame, which would tie me up for months until I did enough declaring and agreeing to make it stop. Let's not even start on what happened if I overate somewhere...
Eventually, after many cycles of shame, you receive the manifestation of your Promise because you've held onto it so tightly that nothing else can stand against it and the fruit that remains is born in your life! Huzzah!
Then, you get a vision for another Promise of Yahweh to move you into His Reality and the process starts all over again.
I am NOT saying that this way doesn't work. As I said, I have seen and am living in the fruit of this process myself. It is beautiful, and if you ask anyone who has gone through this process, they will say that it is totally, completely, one hundred percent worth it. The sufferings of the process are not worthy to be compared to the glory that comes after it.
It is a powerful thing to hold on in faith to a Promise when everything around you tells you that your Promise is impossible, that you can never have it, and that nobody else has ever done it. It builds character, strength, and perseverance. It has helped make me who I am today.
And yet, there is another, new and living, Way.
This other Way involves a deeper level of faith and trust in Yahweh. It also involves less pain, and the sower overtaking the reaper. It is quicker than the aforementioned process because it doesn't involve so much your strength or character and because it taps into the natural order of Yahweh's Divine Pattern.
This other way is for the mature believer. If you do not have the relationship with Yahweh that is ready for this other Way, by all means stick to the old process until you get there. The old process will bring you there, and it will bear you fruit! However, if you are ready...
In this new and living Way, you do not cling to the Promise of Yahweh's Reality while all around you illusion and circumstances and self-doubt berate you and try to get you to let it go. In this new and living Way, you actually let go of His Promise and give it back to Him.
Careful, though! You cannot let go of the Promise and not let go of the illusion, circumstance, and self-doubt. If you do this, you just lack faith and you go back to living in the illusion.
Essentially, you must let go of everything and trust Him to give you back what He wants you to have. The beauty of this is that your relationship with Him will grow exponentially because you have learned to trust Him in this. You let go in hope, in faith, in trust, in Him... if you just let go, this won't work. It must be in Him that you release all, and to Him that you entrust all that you've ever thought you were.
For example, in recent months I've been dealing with guilt over feeling sick in my physical body any time I catch a cold. Since I know that there is no such thing as sickness (it is not Yahweh, therefore it doesn't exist), then if I am experiencing it it must be my fault. There is nobody else who has power over my body. Yahweh didn't create it, so sickness isn't even Real... it must be an illusion that I created in myself and now am having to deal with. I am supposed to be healthy and whole because that is Reality and that is how Yahweh made me!
It wasn't until I stopped caring if I was sick or well that I was able to release the guilt. I know that one day I will never get sick again. This is Yahweh's Promise to me, but if I focus on this Promise and feel guilty for not having it right now, I miss Yahweh's love for me in the moment. I also know that never being sick again will not manifest in my body until feeling guilty every time I feel sick stops manifesting, for Yahweh is not going to let me be a guilty person and feel guilt for things, but remove other illusions. He doesn't want me to feel sick or guilty, and His timing will ensure that both are shown for what they are: not Reality.
So, essentially, I'm trusting Him. I cannot make myself eternally healthy, either by believing so hard for it in faith or by following strict dietary and exercise guidelines. I can only trust Him to manifest what has always been all along. If that happens in this moment, great. If not, I must trust Him in that, too, and find Him where I am at.
In this new and living Way, I do nothing to make it happen. Yet, it is only for the mature believer, for neither do we give up our obedience to Him. I do not go, "I can't make myself healthy" and then go out and eat a whole large pizza with ice cream every day, cancel my gym membership, and start drinking sodas again. Because of my relationship with Yahweh, I make choices in how I treat my body because I love my body and I love Yahweh. I don't need Heaven as the carrot and Hell as the stick (or in this case, Reality and the Promise as the carrot and illusion and illness as the stick) to make me make good choices. I choose things based on if it makes Yahweh happy or not. I'm still learning how to do it, too. I just ate half a thing of cheese with lunch... but I don't feel guilty about it!
In this new Way, I also have agreement with other believers, but it is not in striving and praying and hoping together as it once was. It's a resonant frequency of Yahweh's Truth that will change the very molecules of my physical body, amplified by others who will also resonate with the Promise. I pray, but not to beg. Instead, I talk to Yahweh and He talks to me... a lot! Everything now is based on trust, and though some of the things in this new Way are similar to the old process, everything is different because it is based on Him, not on my faith or even on His Promise.
Talk with Yahweh about this new Way and if you're ready for it. Be realistic about where you are in Him, and don't feel guilty if you're not there yet. If you've even started the process of holding on in faith to Promises when all around you the illusion screams, you're further along than most and you're getting there. When you are ready, take the new and living Way! Yahweh never meant for healing to be painful any more than He meant for sickness or pain to exist at all.
He is infinitely trustworthy and beautiful. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
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